Confidence failure

You enter a competition.

You finally had the balls to do it.

Go you!

You’re feeling positive, you’re feeling great, you absolutely KNOW you’re something special; thsi time, it’s yours.

You get nothing.

Not even a longlist.

What happens next?

I didn’t know what would happen next until this happened to me. I had no idea that it would affect me so profoundly that months afterwards I’m still terrified of failure.  Every couple of days or so my confidence keels over and goes to hide behind the sofa leaving me feeling terrified of language, words and sentences.

The truth is that I don’t know if I can do this. None of us do, I guess.  And yet we still do.

I still do it.

Despite the (rare) rejections and negative comments I’ve had about my writing — and tehre have been a few — I keep going.

And you should too.

Because what happens to you if you stop is far worse than what happens if you fail.

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3 responses to “Confidence failure

  1. The last line of this is just genius. So, so true and so important. I don’t know what the competition was but well done for keeping going. I know I am going to hit the rejections this year and no matter how much I am bracing myself I know it is going to sting. I will come back to this when it comes.

  2. I also think the last line of this is brilliant! When I first decided to actually dedicate sometime to writing I read a fair few writer’s blogs and everyone agreed: trying to make it as a writer? Expect rejection. Lots and lots of rejection. So I’ve braced myself to do just that. So far I’ve only entered two competitions and was rejected by the first and fully expect to be rejected by the second. Not a great feeling, but you’re right, we have to carry on regardless. You’re not alone with self doubt or being rejected; my confidence definitely has sofa-lurking days too! Well done for persevering.

  3. Totally agree with you here. It’s only through failing in life that we truly learn and become better at whatever it is we’ve just failed at. Keep on keeping on, and you’ll eventually reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow 🙂

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