It went a bit quiet there for a moment, didn’t it?
I’m back now that CampNaNoWriMo has finished eating my soul and sucking my brains out through my empty eye sockets.
CampNaNo did not come easy. The win was forced, pushed out through the clenched bum cheeks of my fear of failure. The story was intense and grew into a monster. I had lots of ideas for moving blogs around and managing my time, but I didn’t seem to have the time to sort it out. I had moments where the words wouldn’t come, or the emotion was too raw or things in my real life took a turn for the worst and I couldn’t face opening myself up to my character’s emotional destruction as well as my own.
I spent a lot of time on research for this one, as it contains a lot of medical terms, and I know that from being the parent of a child with a medical condition, you get to learn the names of the medicines and the medical terms associated with the condition pretty early on. You also change the way you talk to other people about it, thinking about how to say things so it doesn’t sound like some horrible clinical mess.
Once I had my hands dirty in the wordcount, everything become more and more muddled, with ideas jumping out at me left right and centre and each one subtley changed the outcome for my poor protagonist until the story I wrote over the month of July transformed into some kind of beast with a mind of it’s own.
I didn’t like that much.
There were walls and obstacles and it all seemed so pointless…
It’s hard to keep going and push through those walls. It’s hard to find the energy to keep writing, especially if it is a hobby. Aren’t you supposed to enjoy your hobbies? Aren’t they supposed to relax you and not cause you undue stress?
Even if this time (or last time or next time) you don’t complete your word count, at least you have done something. We all know sometimes life just gets in the way and something has to give. Writing is an easy thing to put on the back burner – blogging is especially like that for me – because it came seem like such a pipedream, such a freaking PUSH to get to where you want to be and sometimes, quite frankly, you just don’t have the energy.
I know. I’ve been there.
You have to fight the block. you have to fight the urge to procrastinate.
You have to do something. And if you’ve done your best, even if it’s not as much as you were hoping, well done, you.
We’ve all had moments when the words won’t come.